My daughter Jessica got the cutest Staffie pup 10 months ago. He’s mainly grey/white with bits of black, his name is Odis and loves people especially his owners.
However, in a relatively short time on this planet he has up built an impressive resume of things he has demolished, in fact, enough to cover a good portion of the back yard with a layer of unrecognisable rubble.
To his credit he is very regimental with his chewing up, and regardless of what the object is, whether it be a dog kennel, a 15 metre hose, a small tree, or a large pumpkin they all end up in nice uniform pieces of around 2 inches.
The other day Jessica brought Odis around to our place for a visit.
We took him for a run down the beach which he thoroughly enjoyed and when we got him back home Odis explored the house and garden and was very well behaved.
To me, Staffies and Bull Terriers seem to have this funny look at certain times like they’re ‘smiling’ at you.
So anyway, after he circled the garden and carefully walked around every plant he sat down in the middle of the lawn.
Jessica was standing just inside our back door and Julieanne was upstairs when Odis turned his head to look directly at me with that ‘smile’ on his face.
Looking back at him I noticed his ‘smile’ was bigger than usual and he wasn’t really eyeballing me because his eyes seemed to be glazed over as though he was in some sort of trance or had just finished a joint.
Then I heard a strange sound like air escaping from somewhere, like someone letting a tyre down.
Five seconds later I was hit with a solid wall of stench, a tidal wave of stink that nothing I’ve smelt in my entire life so far can come close to.
I was literally engulfed by a cloud of rotten gas and found myself gasping for fresh air.
Still struggling to recover from Odis’s ‘bomb’ I ran to the other side of the lawn but there was no escaping, the f..t had covered the back yard like a deadly toxic fog.
I managed to look around at Jessica to see her almost rolling around the lounge room in a fit of laughter, so I ran across the lawn again, in through the back door and slid it shut.
Odis was still sitting in the same place and seemed to be amused by all the fuss.
Half an hour later I went back outside to see if all my plants had survived?
Fifteen minutes after that Odis was allowed back inside, he sat next me, leaned on my leg and looked up at me as if to say, “you ok Papa? you don’t look so good!”